INTRODUCTION
Emotions play a central role in mediation as they help to define the scope and direction of a conflict.[1]Often times than not, parties to mediation find themselves opening up and pouring out their emotions. It is trite that the mediator’s role is to guide parties to reach an amicable resolution, which requires mediators to resist to offer personal opinions.
To effectively control their own emotions and those of the parties in the mediation session, mediators must be mindful and aware of the emotions present in the room. This set of abilities and capabilities that individuals possess in order to feel, control, and manage emotions is referred to as emotional intelligence.[2]
THE ROLE OF EMOTIONS IN MEDIATION SESSIONS
Why should we concern ourselves with what the parties to a mediation session feel? – one might ask. Well, our deepest feelings, our passions and longings, are very essential guides in human affairs.[3] Each emotion points us in a direction that has worked well to handle the recurring challenges of human life.[4]In fact, David Hoffman opined that according to neuroscience, in even the simplest of situations, our decision-making is unavoidably formed by emotions.[5]It therefore follows that mediation sessions will always be filled with emotions, as parties juggle between “I want to settle this” and “I don’t want to settle this”.
Negative emotions may impede the mediation process, it might bring the whole process to a halt, positive emotions on the other hand enhance the mediation process.[6] Shapiro and Fisher demonstrate how negative and positive emotions might influence the mediation process. The negative emotions may: divert the parties’ attention from the substantive matters, hinder thinking, take charge of the parties and lead to manipulations.[7]However, positive emotions helps to : create awareness of other people’s emotions through communication, therefore, leading to an understanding of their needs and interests.[8]
Emotions, such as happiness, joy, and acceptance, enhance decision making, stimulate creative problem solving, increase joint gains, and reduce the use of contentious tactics.[9] Negative emotions such as anger, fear and disgust can foster win-lose bargaining, promote the rejection of offers, present fewer opportunities for joint gains and decrease the desire to work together.[10] Hence, concerning ourselves with these emotions by addressing them might even be more important than addressing the substantive issues.
THE FOUR FOLD ELEMENTS THAT DEVELOP EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
As stated earlier, emotional intelligence is the ability to feel, manage and control emotions.[11]There are at least four skills that a mediator ought to possess in order to effectively develop emotional intelligence. They include:
Self Awareness
Self-awareness is the ability to read one's own emotions and recognize the role that those feelings might play in decision-making.[12]This definition suggests that there’s both internal and external self-awareness. The latter represents how we clearly see our own values, passions aspirations and reactions (including thoughts, feelings, behaviours, strengths and weaknesses) and the impact on others.[13]External self-awareness refers to the understanding of how other people view us.[14]Without the mediators being aware of their own emotions and those of the parties, they run a risk of spilling/projecting their own subconscious emotions onto others.
Self Management
Edward Kelly defines self management as the ability to control one's emotions and impulses and to adapt to changing circumstances.[15]Self management is a form of self regulation which dictates that a mediator has to look past his/her own emotions so as to accommodate those of others. It is needed in order to manage feelings and emotions, time and impulses.[16]In order for one to manage feelings and impulses, one needs to be aware of his own emotions and develop ways to reduce the effects of negative emotions while advancing the positive ones.
Social Awareness
The first two elements (self-awareness and self management) involved an introspective view of emotional intelligence, however, social awareness and relationship management involves an outward view of emotional intelligence. Simply put, the first two required a mediator to be aware of his/her own emotions but the last two require the mediator to be understand and work with other people’s emotions.
Social awareness is the ability to sense, understand, and react to other people’s emotions while comprehending social networks.[17] It involves being able to understand how other people are feeling – and validating those feeling.[18]Social awareness suggests that individual happiness stems from assisting others to also experience happiness. A mediator therefore will have to posses skills such as active listening and reading of non-verbal cues, these two skills foster empathy. Empathy basically allows one to put himself/herself in the shoes of the disputants in order to understand why they feel the way they feel.
Relationship Management
Preserving the relationships that subsist between the disputants is very imperative in mediation processes. Whether they are friendships, family relationships, employer-employee relationships. Relationship management is the ability to inspire, influence, and develop others while managing conflict.[19]As stated earlier, relationship management requires a mediator to be aware of both his personal and parties’ feelings and be able to manage them accordingly. Kelly identified two things mediators need to consider while trying to manage the parties’ emotions to preserve their relationships. The first one is the cultural differences: inter-cultural difference are usually challenging, some cultures are more emotionally expressive than others.[20] The mediator ought to be more sensitive while addressing multi-cultural or global issues. The second consideration is the parties’ gender. An effective negotiator must be aware of communication styles and negotiating frames as they are impacted by gender.[21]
CONCLUSION
Emotional intelligence is a cornerstone of effective mediation. Mediators not only need to check and manage their own emotions but also beware of the parties’ emotions to effectively resolve the underlying issues. By being emotionally intelligent, the mediators will facilitate smooth mediation process and strengthen positive emotions between the parties. Recognizing and addressing emotions, rather than solely focusing on substantive issues, often leads to amicable resolutions. Ultimately, emotional intelligence in mediation is very imperative as it preserve the parties’ relationships as well as ensure long term harmony.
REFERENCES
[1] James Duffy, ‘Empathy Neutrality and emotional intelligence: a balancing act for the Emotional Einstein ‘ (2010) 10 Qut Law Review.
[2] Ahmed Mohammed, ‘Emotional Intelligence ‘ (2015) 6 Open Access Library Journal.
[3] David Coleman, Emotional Intelligence (10th Edn, Bantam Books Inc, 1995).
[4] Paul Ekman, ‘An Argument for Human Emotions ‘ (1992) 6 Cognition and Emotion Journal.
[5] David Hoffman, ‘Mediation, Multiple Minds and Managing the Negotiation Within’ (2011) 16 Harvard Negotiation Law Review.
[6] Roger Fisher, Daniel Shapiro, Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as you Negotiate (Penguin Publishing Group, 2006).
[7] Roger Fisher, Daniel Shapiro, Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as you Negotiate (Penguin Publishing Group, 2006).
[8] Ibid.
[9] Edward Kelly, Natalija Kaminskiene, ‘Importance of Emotional Intelligence in Negotiation and Mediation ‘ [2016] International Comparative Jurisprudence.
[10] Ibid.
[11] Ibid at n 2.
[12] Ibid at n 9.
[13] Tasha Eurich, ‘What Self-Awareness Really is: and how to Cultivate it’ [2018] Harvard Business Review.
[14] Ibid.
[15] Edward Kelly, Natalija Kaminskiene, ‘Importance of Emotional Intelligence in Negotiation and Mediation ‘ [2016] International Comparative Jurisprudence.
[16] Adeleke Ezekiel, Adegun Emmanuel, ‘Self-Management of Emotional Intelligence and it’s Effect on the Innovativeness Component of Entrepreneurship Orientation’ (2022) Indian Journal of Economics and Financial Issues.
[17] Ibid at n 9.
[18] MTD Training, Emotional Intelligence (Bookboon, 2010).
[19] Ibid at n 9.
[20] Edward Kelly, Natalija Kaminskiene, ‘Importance of Emotional Intelligence in Negotiation and Mediation ‘ [2016] International Comparative Jurisprudence.
[21] Ibid.
